The Night We Met

We met at Sadie’s Tavern a former lesbian neighborhood-type hangout on Orlando Avenue in Winter Park.  I hear it’s no longer there.  I was only in Sadie’s one time – the night we met.  I was traveling and didn’t live in Orlando.

Later that night, we ended up at Lesbo-A-Go-Go at Southern Nights, a gay disco on Bumby Avenue. 

As soon as I met her I thought, “Why can’t I meet a girl like that.”  We ordered our beer based on the pretty label and the next thing I knew we were riding in an old limo with a couple of wackos that we met during the first hour that we talked.   That was the start of our competition – our “one up” game.  It’s also the reason that we’ve always vowed to never go to a strip joint together.  I hand the dancer a dollar, she puts it in her bra, then I go for the back of the g-string, then she’s in the front . . . next thing you know we’d both have two strippers sitting in our soccer-mom living room.

The morning after we met I felt really sick.  My heart was pounding and I was out of breath.  I took some Valium to try to calm down.  I couldn’t decide if I was having some sort of panic attack related to my work or if maybe I was having a heart attack. 

Then – it hit me.  I was having a heart attack, of sorts. 

I DID meet a girl like that!