We’re Not Lesbians – We’re a Straight Married Couple

Posted: July 7, 2008 in Lesbian, lesbians, relationships, Sexuality
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Tomorrow is the anniversary of our Vermont civil union.  It’s the day we supposedly became both civilzed and unionized.   Actually, it was one of the best days of my life.  A perfect day and I’m very serious about that. 

Anyway, shortly after the Vermont civil union law went into effect researchers surveyed nearly 1,000 couples, including same-sex couples and their heterosexual married siblings.   The survey included my lovely spouse and I and our married heterosexual married siblings.   Yes, we were part of the survey.

Recently the New York Times ran an article about the survey that we participated in.  After reading the article I’m convinced – we are two lesbians molded into one  . . . one big sterotypical heterosexual ball and chain marriage.   Why can’t we be more like the other lesbians in the study? 

The study delved into the causes of marital conflict and included questions on subjects such as housework, sex and money.

You can read the entire article at : http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/10/health/10well.html?_r=1&8dpc&oref=slogin

Here is a quote that caught my eye, “Notably, same-sex relationships, whether between men or women, were far more egalitarian than heterosexual ones. In heterosexual couples, women did far more of the housework; men were more likely to have the financial responsibility; and men were more likely to initiate sex, while women were more likely to refuse it or to start a conversation about problems in the relationship. With same-sex couples, of course, none of these dichotomies were possible, and the partners tended to share the burdens far more equally.”

Did they even look at our survey responses? 

Neither of us do the housework – we have a housekeeper.  Anything she doesn’t do – we argue about or ignore.

I have the financial responsibility since I’ve always been the bread-winner and she’s a stay at home mom.   Here is how it works . . . we decide that we’re spending too much.  She says, “that’s simple – GO MAKE MORE MONEY.”  Of course, she has all of the financial control.   I barely have change for the parking meter.

So men usually initiate sex?  Well, I used to try that but after being told “no” or getting elbowed repeatedly, sex really became a none issue to me because I have been getting close to none for years.  Guess that goes directly to the heart of the claim that women in heterosexual marriages are more likely than lesbians to refuse sex.    Where are these committed lesbians who say “yes” on a regular basis?   . . .   (psssssssssst  – call me)

And not only does she start conversations about “problems” in our relationship – she seems to live for the sole purpose of identifying and nagging me on and on and on about each and everyone of these “problems.”

Here is more from the article:  “While the gay and lesbian couples had about the same rate of conflict as the heterosexual ones, they appeared to have more relationship satisfaction, suggesting that the inequality of opposite-sex relationships can take a toll.”

Quite frankly, I’d be perfectly satisfied in this relationship if she would quit harping on all of my faults and our relationship “problems.”

More, “Heterosexual married women live with a lot of anger about having to do the tasks not only in the house but in the relationship,” said Esther D. Rothblum, a professor of women’s studies at San Diego State University. “That’s very different than what same-sex couples and heterosexual men live with.”  

Okay – she’s f’ing angry all the time.  Maybe I should call up Esther and ask her to personally dig out our survey response and FIX US – PLEASE!

And, according to the article, us lesbos make fewer verbal attacks and make more of an effort to defuse situations during disagreements.  “Controlling and hostile emotional tactics, like belligerence and domineering, were less common among gay couples.”  And, supposedly if you studied us during an argument you would find that we didn’t have an elevated heartbeat or adrenaline surge.

However, based on the reality of these lesbians – our neighbors are no doubt talking behind our backs about the fact that we’re a married hetero couple posing as lesbians.

  1. ian says:

    check us out for gay vacation deals-


  2. 2lesbosgoinatit says:

    I am writing about a relationship in trouble and Ian is trying to sell me and my readers on a gay vacation.

    Hey Ian, can you hook me up with a girl for the vacation that will have sex more than 1 time in 10 days?

    If I don’t get the sex can I get a refund?

  3. […] few weeks ago I described my relationship in a post titled “We’re Not Lesbians We’re A Straight Married Couple.”  And now, WND has an article on the same subject titled “Lesbian Child Custoday […]

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