A Lesbian’s Thoughts on the Swish, I Mean Swiss, Guards of the Pope

Posted: August 27, 2008 in Lesbian, lesbians, relationships, Sexuality
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Although Lovely Spouse was raised as a Catholic, I was not.   My mother was a “believer” but always reminded us that “if a preacher comes over, keep one hand on your purse at all times.” 

So, with that opening let me discuss something that has long puzzled me.   I was reminded of it when I just read a news article indicating that the Pope has appointed “a new, young commander of the Swiss Guard, the colourful and historic papal protection force.”

Are Catholics just idiots or what?  Sorry, don’t mean to be anti-Catholic but it really is beyond belief that Catholics don’t notice how homo their church leaders are.    It’s like the parents at the emergency room, “Gee, doc we didn’t know our daughter was pregnant until that 9 lb baby just popped out.”  

I really don’t think that lesbians are this stupid.  Last night – this is true – we were at a priest’s house having dinner with his family (he isn’t Catholic) and some other friends.  Out of all of the men whom we have met in the 6 1/2 years since our son was born, who do you supposed offered last night to spend some alone “father figure”  time with our son?   This priest’s family is also friends with another family, headed by the queerest man on this Earth.  This friend of the priest spent a considerable amount of time explaining how “his wife’s jaw” dropped with she saw a handsome young teenager at school taking off his shirt. 

One Lesbo and Lovely Spouse – the two lesbians in the room – almost busted a gut trying to hold it in both after the fantastic offer of fatherly love from the priest and after this drooling description by the father’s “friend.” 

If it looks like dog crap, smells like dog crap, tastes like dog crap – you don’t need to see it fall out of the dog’s butt to know . . . IT IS DOG CRAP!


 The Pope in his red slippers with his “Private Secretary”

After the jump, the Pope’s Swish Guards.

1) single male, 2) between 19-30, and 3) at least 5'9"

Two of the Pope's Swiss Guard - Actual Requirements to Guard the Pope: 1) single male, 2) between 19-30, and 3) at least 5' 9"


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