Lesbians – 3 Things Straight Women Say That Actually Mean “I Want to Have Sex With You”

Posted: September 22, 2008 in Lesbian
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This message is only for lesbians.  PLEASE DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU ARE A LESBIAN.

Based on an extensive but localized survey as personally verified by your blogging friends here are 2 Lesbos Goin At It, you are going to have sex with a straight woman if she: 

1) knows that you are a lesbian, AND

2) says any of the following to you:

1.  Will you go to the bathroom with me?

2.  I had a dream about you.

3.  My mother died. 

CAVEATS:

1.  The survey included only females between the ages of 20 and 45.   We make no representations regarding females outside of this age group.   Example:  If you are working as a CNA at a nursing home and a resident asks you to accompany her to the bathroom, do not necessarily plan to have sex with her. 

2. If you are in a room full of people at a funeral and a woman says, “I can’t believe that my mother died,” this is irrelevant to your sexual history and future.

3.  If a woman says to you “my mother died” and the death was in 1974, this is not an indication of the woman’s desire to have sex.    In other words, the death must have been recent.   CAUTION:   The sexual response is not immediate.   It may be up to 2 weeks before you experience a sexual interaction with this woman and you will forever be an asshole for taking advantage of this situation.

Comments
  1. Enigma says:

    So, what if a straight woman always feels inclined to tell you she’s going to the bathroom…possibly implying you should come with her?? Does that count?

  2. 2lesbosgoinatit says:

    Hi Enigma –

    First, thanks so much for leaving the code verifying that you are a lesbian. Obviously we want to make sure that only lesbians obtain this information.

    If she’s telling you this frequently – it’s probably an indication of a urinary tract infection; an STD such as herpes, chlamydia, or gonorrhea; she’s pregnant; she’s going into menopause; she has too much stress; or she’s drinking too much caffeine.

    Otherwise, it is just an indication that she is . . .
    going to the bathroom.

    In fact, she may be suggesting that she doesn’t want you to follow her because “I AM GOING TO THE BATHROOM . . . THAT MEANS I DON’T NEED YOU . . . ”

    Or perhaps she feels the need to say something. The two of you are at dinner. She needs to go to the bathroom and it seems impolite to just walk off without a word.

    HUGE TIP – Never make the first move on a straight woman. You don’t go to the bathroom with her unless there is a direct verbal invitation. Once in the bathroom do not assume that she will kiss you, fondle you or call you dirty fun names. This could be one of those rare occassions where a straight woman thinks that a lesbian might have a tampon in her purse . . . or pocket . . . or sock . . . or tool belt . . . fanny pack . . . whatever.

    Again – always wait for the straight woman to make a clear and direct move.

    Lesson over.

    Thanks again Enigma

    Love,

    One Lesbo

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