Posts Tagged ‘Lovely Spouse’

We’ve reached a week-end truce.  So no new posts about our relationship for now.  

In the meantime, enjoy some new videos in Lesbo Videos, some new photos in Lesbo Photos and this lovely video that has nothing to do with sex, lesbians, relationships, love or divorce:

 

I’m starting with photos to narrow it down.  Jenny is my favorite.  Note that these women all appear fit and happy. 

I know that Natasha and Cathie are a little heavy on the eye-liner (the pillow and wash cloth stains make me shutter) but think of reason number 199 to be a lesbian.  You get a make-up consultant right in your own home.

[One Lesbo is on a little vacation from this website.   Hope you enjoy my posts.

Regards, “Lovely Spouse”]

Here I am. I don’t look perfect but I’m fit and healthy. 

What you are going to miss

You sit at your desk all day and not only has it resulted in you being soft and less than appealing, you have become boring.  You rarely get out and talk to people.  You are as picky as me when it comes to the people that you’re attracted to so you know that you don’t look good.  When you don’t look good, you are not nice to anyone.  You are especially not nice to me.   A vain woman who has become fat is a very unhappy and grumpy woman.  Do you know what it’s like to get ready with you?  Nothing fits right anymore so you go through 10 outfits before we can leave.  By that time we’re both angry.   What is there to love?  How can anyone love you right now?

What am I supposed to think about this goofy website?  You really know how to make things better don’t you?  You actually put your anniversary card to me on here.   And, once I find the right photo of you to put here, I’ll send the web address to all of our family and friends.

[One Lesbo is on a little vacation from this website.   Hope you enjoy my posts.

Regards, “Lovely Spouse”]

You are so lame.  No wonder I spend more than half of my time thinking about leaving you. 

I changed the password and now it’s my turn to publicly humiliate you.

Does anyone know how to change the name of the author on here?

[One Lesbo is on a little vacation from this website.   Hope you enjoy my posts.

Regards, “Lovely Spouse”]

If “fitness guru” Susan “Stop the Insanity” Powter can navigate the geography of her girlfriend’s body – Jessica Kirson – my spouse should be thrilled with the shape of my body.   I mean, is it my lack of a perfect body that caused us to have sex only 1 time in 10 days on a romantic cruise? 

Jessica Kirson - Fitness Oh No

Jessica Kirson - Fitness Ohno

Susan Powter - Fitness Guru

Susan Powter - Fitness Guru

Clearly, my lovely spouse is more insensitive than any husband/man on the face of the Earth. 

On the way home from our cruise I was wearing a tight tank top under a cotton/mesh sweater.  It was extremely hot and so for a brief moment, while we were loading the luggage into the car, I took off the sweater.   In doing so I made the comment that I planned on putting my sweater back on as soon as I cooled off.   In reply my lovely spouse said, “What, you don’t want to look like a stuffed sausage?” 

Really!  Would any man even consider saying that to his wife?  Women who think that men are insensitive should try being with a lipstick lesbian for a few minutes.    I mean after the sex is over – and it will be over – it’s like living for the rest of your life with your selfish, mean-spirited little bossy sister. 

Susan – if you ever get over the Rocky Mountains or out of the Gulf of Mexico . . . call me . . .

Added: 

Note to Justice at http://www.lawschool4dummies.blogspot.com/ Jessica does not play the part of Hurley on Lost

Note #2 – check out the comments.  These 2 lesbos goin at it would be lucky to have a relationship like Susan and Jessica.

Note #3 – check out Lesbo Photos.  There is a photo of Jessica and Susan together.

Note #4 – this is a photo of Jessica and Susan being interviewed but we can’t find a transcript and didn’t hear the broadcast

rfamily cruise day 4 8

Two Lesbos Goin At It

WATCH TWO LESBOS GOIN AT IT!

2008-11-11_1314041

2008-11-11_131431

 

1 time during a 10 day cruise.

Lesbians Have Sex

Lesbians Have Sex

Check out the new Lesbo Video page at 2 Lesbos Goin At It.   Please give us some feedback.  If you like them we’ll search for and post more.  

Or if you know of a good video – we like funny with music – please pass on the url so we can share it with all of our readers.

Thanks and . . . wish me luck on the cruise.  Can I behave and keep my lovely spouse happy for 10 days?    I’ll try to post an update while on the cruise but if things are going well – I’ll be occupied 🙂

Love and kisses,

One Lesbo

 
JOIN AARP and receive a
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Keep your important travel documents safe with this
versatile kit. Become an AARP Member and you’ll
receive it as your complimentary gift!

 

Why did I get this email today?  Just before the cruise –   

I’m not that friggin old! 

Lovely Spouse and One Lesbo

Am I in the old lesbo computer database or what?   

What did I order or look at on the Internet to get this?  

Now I will never join AARP – not even for the ADT Companion Service discount!   (Maybe if they would give me a free non-complaining female companion in return for my pre-registration  . . . .   )

 

Here is a message for you AARP:   http://www.sodahead.com/question/68836/

Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  you up?
OneLesbo: 

yes – barelyBut I need to do the dishes (dishwasher is broken) and take out the trash – I’m trying to

 

 

suck up to lovely spouse . . . and express gratitude (that’s for you Katie)
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  ok ..i’ll check with you later
OneLesbo:  anything up
OneLesbo:  I didn’t mean to run you away
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  hmm a bit
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  we can talk later
OneLesbo:  well, I’d love to avoid the dishes and the trash if you’re in the mood
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  sure
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  Lori feels like she needs to move back home..her parents are failing…
OneLesbo:  where do they live?
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  Indiana..she doesn’t want to move there..but somewhere in the east where it would be a short jaunt..chicago for instance
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  she is back visiting..called me crying today
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  sad
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  I understand though
OneLesbo:  I can totally understand.  I had many of those days.  Does she have siblings? 
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  yes
OneLesbo:  where are they
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  Indiana
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  but they are really lame
OneLesbo:  Well, as you know – parents getting older – not fun
OneLesbo:  getting older .  .  . not fun
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  I know..just tough
OneLesbo:  I finally had to decide to live my life – I begged my mother to come live with us numerous times
OneLesbo:  when she wouldn’t – I had to do what was best for me, Lovely Spouse and Our son
OneLesbo:  when she broke her hip I stayed there in rehab with her – almost night and day for almost a month
OneLesbo:  but it can go on so long – and you can’t just put your life on hold while it happens
OneLesbo:  do you think there are other motivating factors for her thoughts about moving?
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  I know you did..Lori ‘s folks don’t even call her but she is the only functional family member…oh she hates her job here
OneLesbo:  If she wanted to move to the same town as them – or within driving distance – I
But the fact that she’d still have to fly there to see them . . . what do you think . . .
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  we get along well..no fighting at all..but she loves to watch football,basketball,tennis golf and I like to be outside
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  well from HERE it is so hard to get anywhere…takes a whole day to get to the midwest or back east
OneLesbo:  that’s true
OneLesbo:  So has she said what the plan would be for the two of you? 
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  we get a long but she never really learned how to show love for someone..I am too needy for her..
OneLesbo:  Yes, there is a certain level of constant adoration required, isn’t there 🙂
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  I think the plan was for her to pass the bar exam which has happened
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  i like mutual admiration..respect
OneLesbo:  oops – I just spelled it wrong 🙂  I certainly meant admiration – 
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  anyway..she really is a good person and she is struggling
OneLesbo:  so, how did you two leave it
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  oh an you will be happy to know I saw Carie at gay pride..she looked old,haggard and had tattoes on he forearms
OneLesbo:  tattoos? 
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  I just listened to her..I knew she was already struggling
OneLesbo:  okay – sorry but I have to know – what were the images on the arms?
OneLesbo:  palm trees with naked women – like a sailor would have?
OneLesbo:  I hope my jokes are cheering you up
OneLesbo:  I don’t want to make light of Lori’s situation
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  big old colored tattoes ..kind of like mike wrought iron fence around the dog run..flear d lee..how ever you spell that
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  my not mike
OneLesbo:  nice description – I totally get it . . . well, I don’t get it but I do understand how it would look
OneLesbo:  well, that’s certainly . . . odd
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  in sort of a circular fashion…and she was arm in arm with another exe of mine Asia…
OneLesbo:  oh my
OneLesbo:  I don’t remember Asia – who is she
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  well I never went all the way so to speak with Asia
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  remember the chick whom I told …you look so beautiful tonight?
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  and she said…i am so fucking tired of people telling me that, I wish you’d stop?
OneLesbo:  No I don’t remember but I love the story
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  It was my birthday..we were in laguna beach
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  I said Asia…you are not that beautiful.
OneLesbo:  I’m laughing
OneLesbo:  guess she got her wish
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  kinda ended the romance.
OneLesbo:  so, nice detour – what are you going to do about Lori?
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  so my friend Sidney has been out her visiting and she said they both looked like hell..Asia was not attractive at all( I truly did not even recognize her)
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  I told Lori I understand and she just needs to decide
OneLesbo:  Remind me who Sidney is
OneLesbo:  so would the two of you (Lori and you – of course) still be a couple?  exclusive monogomy ?
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  I went out with Sidney 2-3 times..big fat girl
OneLesbo:  I remembered fat but can’t remember much else
OneLesbo:  where does she live
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  Now in Richmond VA
OneLesbo:  “big fat girl”  your adjectives sound like my Aunt Lizzie talking
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  I know ..good eatin
OneLesbo:  okay – who was the one with the foot thing – the smaller one – I’m putting them together in one round mound of mess
OneLesbo:  the other one from VA
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:   Allison..she is coming out next week
OneLesbo:  of course she is  🙂
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  gonna get married in Big Sur
OneLesbo:  really?
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  yes
OneLesbo:  what’s that story
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  they fly in to San Jose then get married and drive up here.
OneLesbo:  so are you the flower girl, or what?
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  it’s a long story
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  now I am honeymoon
OneLesbo:  Yeah, that’s what I was thinking
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  plus they are bringing a friend
OneLesbo:  honey, let’s get married and spend our honeymoon with an old girlfriend
OneLesbo:  she has great feet and toes
OneLesbo:  you’re gonna love her
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  who the friend?
OneLesbo:  no – you
aren’t you the honeymoon destination?
OneLesbo:  So is Lori going to miss out on this fun?
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  well it is just a formality kind of thing
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  Lori will be here while they are here
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  I think
OneLesbo:  marriage is a sacrament
OneLesbo:  are you wondering if I’m serious?
OneLesbo:  I’m not
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  she may just decide to stay with her best friend multi millionaire ex in LA
OneLesbo:  oh yes – marriage – did you and Lori talk about that
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  we;; they are going to do civil ceremony then have a regualr marriage with a minister in georgia
OneLesbo:  geez, such a spot for all of those lesbians living together who . . . . really just aren’t that sure . . .
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  Lori said she did not believe in gay marriage…Lori is as close to a fundamentalist christian as a lesbain can be
OneLesbo:  are you making that up?
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  no
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  she went to one of those places for a year where they convert you…
OneLesbo:  I erased what I was going to type
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  actually lived in a home
OneLesbo:  wish lesbians could open those places for straight women – I could make a million in those programs, recruiting women to become ex-straights
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  the minute she got there she found a woman
OneLesbo:  I’m sure – that’s what they do – put you in a home together – – oh that will cure a bunch of lesbos . . . what a deal – you don’t even have to go out on one date before you live together – yee haw
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  llaughing but not funny
OneLesbo:  You had never revealed this little tid bit to me about Lori
OneLesbo:  because i would have yelled
OneLesbo:  run Forest run
OneLesbo:  so Lori still doesn’t “believe in” marriage between two people of the same gender? 
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  well we never really talk so how could I
OneLesbo:  Kinda like Our son, he’s not sure he believes in the Tooth Fairy
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  she might believe in a legal union
OneLesbo:  Michael at school told him that his dad is the Tooth Fairy, I said, “Mr. Johnson – geez I never pictured the Tooth Fairy looking like that!”
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  you know I have a bit of the same thing as her
OneLesbo:  well, that’s because you’ve never been in a long-term healthy relationship . . . in my opinion – well, except for a short time that I recall quite well 🙂
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  not sure I get the tooth fairy analogy
OneLesbo:  she doesn’t “believe in ” gay marriage
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  well we have been together for 4 years
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  it has been healthier than anything I have  ever experienced
OneLesbo:  ouch
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  hey lived together day to day…she has been here with my folks..my Dad dying..it hasn’t been a date
OneLesbo:  true
OneLesbo:  how is your mother by the way
OneLesbo:  anytime I swim in cold water I think if her
OneLesbo:  her graceful dives
OneLesbo:  beautiful stroke in the water
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  we both have some preconceived faith things that are in common
OneLesbo:  well, Lovely Spouse is an ex-Catholic atheist who is not shy about telling people
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  thank you..she doesn’t dive..but she swims everyday..but she no longer has her swimming partner
OneLesbo:  your mother is so sweet
OneLesbo:  and beautiful
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  well I thought about being a minister as you may recall..
OneLesbo:  we should all be so lucky to look like her
OneLesbo:  yes, I recall
OneLesbo:  do you still go to the same churchdo you still go to the same church
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  You probably need to accept I have grown up just as you have..
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  my IM’s don’t seem to be going to you
OneLesbo:  and at least one of mine went 2 times
OneLesbo:  strange
OneLesbo:  the conversation does seem to be more disjointed that even the usual IM conversation – usually we only have two subjects going at once – I now believe we have 4
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  she is an atheist?
OneLesbo:  yes she is an atheist
OneLesbo:  and quick to say it
OneLesbo:  not agnostic
OneLesbo:  atheist
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  so are you an athiest?
OneLesbo:  no, I wouldn’t say that
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  or however you spell it
OneLesbo:  I’m a fence sitting agnostic skeptical believer of Jesus
OneLesbo:  amen
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  I’ll pray for you
OneLesbo:  that made me giggle – was it supposed to?
OneLesbo:  Our son once asked me, “Mommy, in our family do we believe in God?”
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  Lori and I both have a deep personal faith..we visit different churches..it ws supposed to make you gigle..I hope you told him yes
OneLesbo:  no – that’s not what I told him
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  what did you tell him
OneLesbo:  I said that to be in our family you’re not required to believe in God
OneLesbo:  Mom does not believe in God
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  that’s ok
OneLesbo:  he seemed okay with it
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  everyone needs to come to their own faith but they should be exposed to higher teachings
OneLesbo:  exactly
OneLesbo:  that’s what he and I discussed
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  not sure how many buddhist temples are in the Heartland of America
OneLesbo:  that we would help him find out about different beliefs and then we’d trust him when he’s a grown up to have his own beliefs
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  have one here right next to the house
OneLesbo:  you people in California
OneLesbo:  So, I need to go – we’re going on a cruise and fly out for Miami on Friday
OneLesbo:  Lovely Spouse and I haven’t argued for 2 days
OneLesbo:  don’t want to blow it just before the trip
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  well in my opinion not that it means one thing…I would take him to some houses of religion
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  good for you..I will pray for you again
OneLesbo:  good – I can use lots of prayers – pray that Lovely Spouse and I don’t kill each other
OneLesbo:  if you see on the news that a woman was lost at sea . . .
OneLesbo:  be sure and listen for names
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  I willpray for you nightly
OneLesbo:  okay – hope it all works out for Lori
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  you’ll be fine
OneLesbo:  blessings to you – goodnight
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  she will move back home..it wll be fine…
OneLesbo:  bye
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee:  bye
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee signed off at 11:15 P.M.
Ex-GF/SurgeonHottiee is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.

Has One Lesbo Escaped the D – I – V – O – R – C – E ?  Thanks Katie!

If you’ve been following 2 Lesbos Goin At It you know that Katie has been voted as our cutest reader; however, unless you’ve read the comments you may not know that Katie has been giving this One Lesbo some tips.   And actually, I kinda sorta think it probably possibly worked

. . . a little.

Lovely spouse and I had a fantastic evening.   We did not have even the hint of an argument.  Katie tells me that if every day I will express the things that I’m grateful for that I’ll see some positive results.  The power of positive thinking  . . . a skill that I must have lost over 10 years – 6 spent in mommy-hood.  So, maybe just maybe my anniversary card served the purpose yesterday. 

Have any of you seen The Secret?  I have not but I did sell about 200 of them – does that count?  Anyway, my customers tell me that it suggests that if you are positive and visualize/verbalize what you want, then you’ll get it. 

But if I follow this course I’ll probably end up like this guy I read about.  The guy goes into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The guy says, “A hamburger, fries and a coke,” and turns to the ostrich. “What’s yours?” “I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. “That will be $9.40 please,” and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the guy and the ostrich come again and the guy says, “A hamburger, fries and a coke.” The ostrich says, “I’ll have the same.” Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. “The usual?” asks the waitress. “No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,” says the man. “Same,” says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, “That will be $32.62.” Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. “Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?”

“Well,” says the man, “several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.”

“That’s brilliant!” says the waitress. “Most people would ask for a million pounds or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!”

“That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” says the man.

The waitress asks, “What’s with the ostrich?” The guy sighs, pauses and answers, “My second wish was for a tall chick with lots of junk in her trunk and long legs who agrees with everything I say.”

So . . . Katie thanks for the tips.  And while I did not get anything near 20 minutes of loving, I did manage to get a hand on my leg (her hand – not my own) while watching I Survived a Japanese Game Show and she gave me a good-night kiss on the cheek.   Not bad on our 8th Civil Union anniversary and coming from a lovely spouse who announced she wanted a

D I V O R C E  on July 4 . . . is that why they call it Independence Day?