Posts Tagged ‘tanning bed’

This post is from www.2lesbosgoinatit.wordpress.com. Visit us early and often.

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Just read a post titled “Nine Types of Sapphic Lovers.”   There, you’ll learn about the Sophisticate (the example is Melissa Etheridge – odd choice); the Tomboy (Samantha Ronson); the Lesbian Until Graduation; the Lipstick Lesbian . . .

I was expecting something about sex . . .  the types of lesbian “lovers.”  So, my mind immediately went to my own sexual experiences with various women and girls: 

1) the dead fish

2) the wiggles around the bed so much you can’t find her much less have sex with her

3) the I wanted to have sex, not palpate a hefer’s uterus (don’t ask)

4) the ass so big that she has a line around the bottom of her back from lying in the tanning bed

5) the wouldn’t you like to put your head on this towel instead of my good pillow cases because you have so much make-up on that I’ll never get the stains out

6) the hey, didn’t you know, that’s what razors are for

http://i86.photobucket.com/albums/k86/xXxDiabolicalxXx/4417_most-hairy-woman-ever1.jpg

DO NOT USE THAT LINK IF YOU HAVE RECENTLY EATEN OR YOU WANT TO EAT IN NEAR FUTURE

7) the so friggin picky about the tinnie tiny spot that has to be touched at the exact right time, with the exact right speed, with the exact right pressure that . . . oh, just do it yourself

8  the skin gets cold and clammy when excited – yuck

9) the so easily distracted that you pray she doesn’t notice the uneven paint on the ceiling

10) the ride me like a bareback pony with little results phenomena

11) the I fell asleep – did we do it?

12) the she fell asleep – guess I’ll do it

13) the what the f . . . was I thinkin

14) the hope I didn’t give her my real name

Think I’ll stop thinking about this.


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