Posts Tagged ‘work’

I’m in my office thinking that work really sucks.  Life would be so much fun if it weren’t for that part about needing money to survive.   That’s especially true for a lesbian like me who is civilly unionized to a stay-at-home, botox loving, clothes buying, no expense is too much, Lovely Spouse.  (No, she doesn’t clean house nor does she cook.  Sex must be great?  Actually, the sex has always been great and now . . . more often . . . so I’m beginning to get a return on my financial investment.)

As I’m trying to work, I’m totally distracted by Sam and Lindsay.   I have hat-envy in a major way.  Could any lesbian have a better job?






Cool friends

Cool family

Loves music

Good in bars

Not butt ugly

Job Duties:

Fly to Miami

Fly to LA

Fly to Chicago

Fly to New York

Get photo taken

Shop with Lindsay Lohan

Eat with Lindsay Lohan

Go to parties with Lindsay Lohan

Play music at bars

Have sex with Lindsay Lohan


Wonder how much it pays?


Not so perfect job?

The story:  Two summer associates (law students) at boring Minneapolis law firm Lindquist & Vennum were fired a couple of weeks ago for locking their lips around each others’ lips after locking said lips around one too many cocktails.   The girly girls got fired.   

Minnesota Lawyer Blog: The kiss of death?

Anyway . . . here is what caught my eye.  A caring comment on from a big city law firm partner reaching out to the girls in concern for their futures.

Dear Carpet-Munching Chicks Who Were Shit-Canned From Lindquist & Vennum:

I am the hiring partner at a major firm in D.C. If you appy to my firm, as a pair, and if you include photos of the two of you locking lips, and if you are hot, I will hire you at much more than Lindquist & Vennum ever could have paid you. And I will lobby to get you a signing bonus.

Question to lesbo ladies — are either of you into 41 year old married men with salt/pepper hair and a beer belly? If so, apply to all the big firms in D.C. (I repeat, as a pair) and I’ll do what I can to get you hired. No joke.

“Harold,” Big-Law Hiring Partner

Finally, Lindquist & Vennum might want to consider the firm’s own public conduct if they want to attract a different brand of associate.  No wonder they had a couple of lesbo summer associates:

Lindquist Lesbo Magnets - Softball Champs

Lindquist Lesbo Magnets - Softball Champs